By Angie Jones
Stress…..just saying that word can make me feel, well, stressed! It’s something that we deal with on a daily basis, and not only can it affect us mentally, it can also cause physical symptoms as well. As adults we stress about almost everything such as our family, money, our jobs, our kids, relationships, I mean, the list can go on and on. But did you also know that children can feel stress as well? Research has shown that a child’s reaction to stress over a lifetime is built into his brain in the early years of his life. (source, Parents as Teachers) You may ask yourself, what does a child have to stress about? Well, here is a list of things that can cause stress in a child:
-changes in their life like, a new baby in the home, moving to a new house, learning a new developmental milestone, such as learning how to use the potty
-Violence, physical, or verbal abuse
-Fears, such as being afraid of the dark or strangers
-Sensory overload, or in other words, when there is too much going on around them
-Feeling insecure or unloved
This stress may cause symptoms similar to those adults may feel such as:
-headaches/stomachaches
-anger and aggression
-sleep problems
-changes in eating patterns
-being more easily upset
Unlike adults, small children do not yet have the communication skills to let us know when they are feeling stress, nor the ability to understand why they feel a certain way. In addition, research has shown that extreme amounts of toxic stress (i.e. exposure to violence, neglect, and/or abuse) can physically change a child’s brain. That is why it is up to us to help our children handle stress. Here are some ways to do that:
-tell him/her you can see they are mad, sad, upset, etc. name the feeling for them
-talk with them about their feelings
-talk about changes before they happen
-try to keep their environment calm and free of too much noise and/or chaos and make sure your child is not exposed to violence, physical or verbal abuse
-dance, run, sing, go outside and play
-hold your child and comfort them, read together, or sing to them
Any way that you can show your child attention and love will make them feel secure, and they will be able to get over their stress easier.
Not only are these things good for stress, but they also help to create a secure, healthy attachment with your child. And as an extra bonus, doing these things can help you relieve some of your stress as well! So, even though stress is a part of life, let’s at least do all we can to help our children learn to deal with it in a healthy, productive way!
